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Why Do I Print?
Spend hours trying to do a good job and it only takes a minute to read. Helen always says, ‘But what a lot of work!” Get a few cards from the faithful and maybe a mention or two in the ajay press. Then, silence. But can’t keep away from it long. Comes an evening back at the case. Dig up copy and start another issue. Blessings on thee, little press!
Papa flea was most despondent
The future dimmed with fogs
Because he knew for certain
His children would go to the dogs.
– V. H. A.
Isn’t it queer, so very queer, that if you’re gone, you are not here! But if perchance you pass this way, you may be near, then far away. – Einstein Jones
A Teacher’s Soliloquy
by James A. Lemon
Curses on thee, little ghoul,
Dunce-capped student on the stool;
You’d make this teacher’s life sublime
If you would only take strychnine.
– Courtesy AAPA Manuscript Bureau
“Laff every time you feel tickled and laff once in awhile enyhow.” – Josh Billings
Discolored
by Remelda Nielson Gibson
There was a young lady from Claire
Who had a grey lock in her hair,
Which she tried to dye red
But it turned green instead
She is now all blue with despair!
If printing is your hobby, why not write Joseph G. Simon, Jr., St. Louis, Mo., a card and ask about APEX, a group of ajays that print because they enjoy it?
A doctor fell into a well
And broke his collar bone.
The doctor should attend the sick,
And leave the well alone.
– Scrapbook
Real Sorrow
by Joe Dexter
She used to come and weep before my grave
As though she were truly sorry:
But I could not be sure
Until where her tears fell
Flowers grew –
Then I knew.
– Courtesy AAPA Manuscript Bureau
DO YOU feel silly when nights are chilly and lazy when there’s nothing to do? Is your head in a whirl when with your best girl? Do you like beef dumplings and stew? Do your feet hurt while dancing? Is your hair coming out? Does your breath come in short pants? Are you getting stout? If you answer yes, and I think you will. Don’t worry or fret. Take a vitamin pill. – Intaglio Moans
Of a sorry fright, to the masculine sight,
There’s one inexpressibly displeasing:
‘Tis a teen-age girl, with a shop-made curl,
Smoking, swearing, flirting and “squeezing.”
– P. F. McNamee
– Courtesy AAPA Manuscript Bureau
New member Jack Gardner of Powell, Ohio has a 5 x 8 Kelsey with nice line of type and equipment. He publishes The Amateur Printer and Writer and Powell 48.
None genuine without my thumb print.
Mr Jones and The Bomb
Mr. Jones was a big feed and seed man in a nearby village. Mr. and Mrs. Jones lived in a farm home not far away. He sold DDT bombs but had neglected to bring one home. His wife insisted and finally he remembered. He remarked that it would last a long time if used wisely.
So he turned it on and started spraying the three main rooms. Then he tried to turn it off. While he was trying, he did another room so as not to waste the spray or soil wallpaper.
Still he couldn’t find the little jigger, so upstairs he went and did the bed rooms, his wife faithfully following along to open and shut the doors. Then he sprayed the closets, all the time trying to stop it. No luck, so back down stairs and to the wood shed where he carefully deposited it on the floor, still spraying.
Mr. Jones found the paper and read it all through again. Although he glanced at his wife frequently he could detect no signs of mirth, but at supper he told a story. It wasn’t very funny, but it almost gave his wife hysterics. – Tolona Fink
He Huffed and He Puffed
by Olivia Freeman
Old blowhard had a birthday cake,
With sixty candles on it,
He blew and blew and blew them out
And blew them off, dog gone it.
Published by John L. Shear of Smiths Basin, New York.
Printed on a 6 x 9 Improved Model No. 2.
American, United, National, Lone Indian, Commercial, United Alumni
Affiliated with APEX