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New Paper Just for NAPA

AS A RESULT of a recent ruling by the ABOAAJ [Arbitration Board of All Amateur Journalism], we have decided to issue an occasional flimsie for NAPA distribution only. In the absence of overwhelming sentiment against such a course, we will continue to publish The Rhatt Race for both AAPA and NAPA.

National Calamity will probably be just what its title implies. It will attempt to offend nobody and irritate everybody. Comments on the NAPA scene will be irreverent, irrelevant and perhaps irrational.

This paper has no quarrel with those ajays who strive for perfection both editorially and mechanically but it is dedicated to those who are in the hobby to have fun. The format of this sheet will vary from issue to issue at the whim of the publisher. Of course, the size of stock available may affect my decision.

Nern Party Picks Slate

FOLLOWING a secret caucus at The Rhatt Phincke Press, the newly organized Nern Party has announced a complete slate of candidates for the forthcoming NAPA elections. For the present, the members of the party prefer to remain anonymous but they apparently intend to make their influence felt in National’s politics.

The Nern selection for President – Kenneth L. Monson – will cause no raised eyebrows among students of NAPA politics. Presently serving as Vice President, Monson publishes frequent issues of The Morceau and is active in the Columbines, Denver area ajay group.

Jacob L. Warner, Maryland publisher of the beautifully printed journal The Boxwooder, was picked for the Vice President’s post. Political pundits feel that his frequent blasts at Vice President Agnew will help him to recruit new members among the younger generation. Warner is Recorder in the present regime.

A dark horse candidate – John S. Carrol – was the Nern choice for Official Editor. One of the most learned typophiles in NAPA, he is also a provocative writer. Carrol is a Florida resident and publishes frequent issues of Phlugg… printed in offset.

In order to avoid trouble with the woman’s lib element, Nern biggies picked Mary Kuhn of Chicago for Recorder. Mary publishes the sprightly Hurrah’s Nest.

The Nern backed candidates for Executive Judge may be considered a bit controversial by some. Party hacks felt that a thorough knowledge of the Constitution is not the primary qualification for this post. Party pundits wanted candidates who could approach disputes objectively, be guided by the spirit rather than the letter of the law, and be able to work well together. The party feels these qualities are exemplified in Roy Lindberg, Victor A. Moitoret and Sheldon C. Wesson.

Petaluma Bids for Convention

THE PETALUMA, California Chamber of Commerce is making a strong bid for their city in the 1972 NAPA Convention sweepstakes. In spite of strong APC pressure against holding the convention anywhere west of Bristol, Pa., NAPA politicos are giving serious thought to the Pacific coast city.

“When we heard you people were going to Marietta, Ohio this year, we felt that anyplace would stand a chance in 1972… even Petaluma.” said I. M. Greedy, President of the Petaluma Chamber of Commerce.

The actual convention site recommended by Mr. Greedy is Mama Rosa’s Boarding House & Livery Stable. This hostelry has cold running water in all rooms… and occasionally in the halls. Mrs. Rosa has offered the use of her coal bin as a hospitality suite. Should the ajays wish to issue a paper, Clyde Libel, editor of the Petaluma Blah, has offered to provide paper masters and a reconditioned Multilith 1250.

Petaluma is no stranger to conventions; the city annually hosts such events as the National Writs Wrestling Championship and the Daisy Hill Puppy Farm Beagle Reunion. NAPA proxy antics won’t faze the natives.

The city boasts many tourist attractions for the wives and offspring if they become bored with the constitutional wrangling. Foremost among these is Goldberg’s Wash n’ Wear Palace, billed as “The Most Glamorous Laundromat West of Abilene.”

Cast Your Ballot For

Petaluma in 72

Petaluma Chamber of Commerce

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National Calamity
Fred Liddle, Publisher
Floral Park, N.Y.

Ajay is the Prince of Hobbies… Try it!

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