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Were You Born Before 1945?
Then You are a surviver!
Consider the changes you have witnessed:

You were born before television, before penicillin, before polio shots, frozen foods, Xerox, plastic, contact lenses, frisbees and “The Pill.”

You were before radar, credit cards, split atoms, laser beams and ball point pens… before pantyhose, dishwashers, clothes dryers, electric blankets, air conditioners, drip-dry clothes… and even before man walked on the moon!

Back then, you got married first, then lived together. How quaint can you be? In your time, closets were for clothes, not for “coming out of.” Bunnies were small rabbits, and rabbits were not Volkswagons. Designer jeans were scheming girls named Jean, and having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with our cousins.

We thought fast food was what you ate during Lent, and Outer Space was the back of the Bijou Theatre. Back then we were before house husbands, gay rights, computer dating, dual careers & computer marriages.

This was also before day-care centers, group therapy and nursing homes. You never heard of FM radio, tape decks, electronic typewriters, artificial hearts, word processors, yogurt and guys wearing earrings. Back then, time-sharing meant togetherness – not computers or condominiums. A chip meant a piece of wood. Hardware meant hardware, and software was not even a word!

Back then, “Made in Japan” meant junk and the term “making out” referred to how you did on your exam. Pizza’s, McDonald’s and instant coffee were unheard of. Everyone hit the scene where there were five and ten cent stores, where you actually bought things for five and ten cents.

Sanders or Wilsons sold ice cream cones for a nickel or a dime, and for one nickel you could ride a street-car, make a phone call, buy a Pepsi or enough stamps to mail one letter and two post cards. You could buy a new car for $600… but then who could afford one? A pity too, because gas was only 11 cents a gallon!

Y’know, back then, when you think about it, grass was mowed, coke was a cold drink and pot was something you cooked in. Rock music was a Grandma’s lullaby and AIDS were helpers in the Principal’s office.

You were certainly not before the difference between the sexes was discovered, but you were surely before the sex change. Stop and remember – you made do with what you had! And we were the last generation so dumb as to think you needed a husband to have a baby….

No wonder we’re all so damned confused and there is such a generation gap today… But you know something? We all survived, didn’t we!!!

Just for Laughs

All power corrupts, but we still need electricity.

Byrne’s Law: All appliances in an electrical circuit burn out quickly to protect fuses.

Despondent after missing a last-minute field goal in a Super Bowl defeat, the losing kicker attempted suicide. His shot missed, wide to the left.

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Colophon

impressions by hal is printed for the enjoyment of NAPA members. 10 pt. Modern, 10 pt. Garamond and 8 pt. Bodoni were used for this publication. The editor Harold L. Shive, Pennsboro, WV 26415