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Entering the fifth decade

The Brave Ones Heed the Mating Call of the Baskervilles

The props of the most illustrious amateur presses have heeded the annual call of the hound of Baskerville and are here tonight howling again. The Blind Faith Press of Columbus, The Grateful Dead Press of Haddonfield, and What’s New Pussycat Press of Cranford are some of the presses represented. With us too are two fine writers, the notorious Verle and Ballantine Beer’s Poet Laureate, T. Whitbread. We know that the deathless prose, the deadly limericks and the kiss-of-death NAPA Slate will be cremated tonight in Hazel’s fireplace with proper rites at midnight as Harold and Hazel open champagne bottles to the erotic sighs of Guy Lombardo’s orchestra. What a beautiful way to spend New Year’s Eve.

Cold Summer in Hot Springs?

Things are not so hot in Hot Springs.

According to rumors out of Lakewood, Ohio, there seems to be an imminent change of the National’s 1971 convention city.

Volunteers to chair the convention committee at Hot Springs were ominously silent. Prez John Gillick had actively sought candidates for this important job, but all amateurs in the area were too shy to step forward.

The latest rumor is that July scene will shift to some spot within the confines of Ohio. A story from somewhere just outside the inner circle is that Prez Gillick is seeking some small town adjacent to the turnpikes.

Still Toting the Torch

The day after this event last year, we got the letter that said we were expected back in Nigeria by November. That ought to convince anyone that judgment falls like a guillotine on an APC devotee. But WAWA,* so here we go again, for the third consequious annum.

Time does, however, seem to be leaking out from under us – so see you at the Lagos convention. Or back in Bristol for the next go-round. – Bill & Ruth Boys

* West Africa Wins Again

To What Length for a One-Liner?

Users of “hot” type are now in the eternal debt of Elmer Fudpucker, the inventor of tiny metal-alloy chips which are added to the molten metal. The chips are called “absints” and have the capacity of making the cooled type metal get tougher and tougher as it grows older, which is a boon especially to the everlasting train of amateur platen pushers and antique type addicts. Sure it is that absints make the font grow harder.

Participants in This Folly

Tom Whitbread, Austin, Texas; Verle Heljeson, Washington, D. C.; Bill and Ruth Boys, Columbus, Ohio; Lillian and Parker Worley, Haddonfield, N. J.; Helen and Alf Babcock, Cranford, N. J.; Roy Lindberg, Brooklyn, N. Y.; Ed, Jan and Curtis Harler, Levittown, Pa.

And the hosts, Hazel and Harold Segal, abetted by David and Wendy – and Nancy, Roslyn Heights, N. Y.

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Champagne Bubbles & Beer Burps

Someone suggested Verle Heljeson run for president of the NAPA so he could administer the “big” and “little” associations at the same time. Verle entertained anyone who would listen with a thrilling account of his campaign and election in a run-off AAPA election.

With the demise of both United APAs, what will be the fate of the nice poetry ladies? Tell us, Tom, do!

Mazola, Olice and Wesson Oyl are cruising in the Caribbean waters and sent warm, maybe torrid greetings.

No, Virginia, those five VWs outside do not mean the Segals are holding a VW convention.

Roy Lindberg and Tom Whitbread are living evidence that being 40 is halfway between 20 and 60.

The End of an Era

All faithful and devoted readers of this mighty and esteemed journal will undoubtedly be disappointed by the absence of our annual “ticket” and limerick. The world changes and some of our dearest and beloved things just disappear. We don’t know what happened to the limerick (one may still turn up), but we hated to put the onus on some good NAPA candidates by proposing them. Maybe next year we won’t be so chicken.

Telephoned greetings from Fred Liddle, Floral Park, N. Y.; Dick Branch, Belford, N. J.; and F. Earl Bonnel, North East, Pa.

Since the following item was printed, we had 6” of the motorists’ dirty four-letter word: s-n-o-w.

You Can Trust the Weatherman

The weatherman did his best to scare people away by predicting six inches of snow for tonight or tomorrow. First reports were it would start snowing at 2 P.M., but at 10 P.M. it had not started.

I Resolve to Resolve the Resolutions

Broom Hilda may only be a comic character, but her idea of New Year’s Resolutions could completely change the current effete, stereotyped form of making resolutions. Rather than resolve to do something next to impossible, Broom Hilda resolved to do only those things she expects to do.

For the amateur journalist this is fraught with many pregnant possibilities. Now you may safely resolve not to publish more than one paper during ‘71; to read and enjoy the bundles, but withhold comment in order not to inflate an author’s ego; to stand ready to refuse any office; to… well, you make your resolutions.

Of course, if any of them are broken, it should contribute to an improved year and you’ll still be in step, ready to reresolve for 1972.

Alf’s Resting Again!

This is the first time I have set type sitting down since the last time I was in Bristol. I distribute lots of type sitting down watching baseball or football games on TV.

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APC News 121 – December 31, 1970, and January 1, 1971

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