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A Texan’s Eye-View of His State

Texas occupies all the continent of North America except the small part set aside for the United States, Mexico and Canada. Texas won all the north of the Rio Grande, the only dusty river in the world; also the only one, with possible exception of the Trinity which is navigable for mud cats and pedestrians.

Texas is bounded on the north by twenty-five of thirty states, on the east by all the oceans in the world but the Pacific, and on the south by the Gulf of South America and on the west by the Pacific Ocean, the Milky Way, and by the Side – real universe.

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If Texas were chopped loose from the rest of the United States and the Panhandle it would float into the ocean, as it rests upon a vast subterranean sea of fresh water.

It is 150 miles farther from Paso, Texas, to Texarkana, Texas, than it is from Chicago to New York; Fort Worth, Texas is nearer to St. Paul, Minn., than it is to Brownsville, Texas.

The chief occupation of the people of Texas is trying to keep people of Texas from making all the money in the world. The chief pursuit of the people of Texas was formerly Mexicans, but now it is land buyers, steers and Texas crop records.

The United States with Texas off would look like a three legged Boston terrier.

Texans are so proud of Texas that they can not sleep at night…. If a Texan’s head should be opened the map of Texas would be found photographed on his brain. This is also true of the heart.

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If the alfalfa grown in Texas were bailed and built into a stairway it would reach the pearly gates.

Unless your front gate is eighteen miles from your front door you do not belong to society as constituted in Texas. One Texan’s gate is 150 miles from his front door, and he is thinking of moving his house back so he will not be annoyed by passing automobiles and peddlers.

Other Texas Landlords have whole mountain ranges and rivers on their ranches. One Texas man has forty miles of navigable river on his farm. If the proportion of cultivated land in Texas were the same in Illinois, the value of Texas crops would equal that of forty-seven states.

Texas has enough land to supply every man, woman and child in the world with a tract five feet by twenty, and have enough left over for the armies of the world to march around five abreast.

If all the hogs of Texas were one hog he would be able to dig up the Panama Canal in three roots.

If all the Texas steers were one steer he would stand with his front feet in the Gulf of Mexico. one hind foot in Hudson Bay and the other in the Arctic Ocean and his tail would brush the mist from the Aurora Borealis. SOME STATE.

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A.A.P.A. in the National Defense and Aid to Britain

As the first edition of Gazette goes to press the British aid bill goes to the Senate floor.

We must think how we can aid the national defense along. A few of you will go to the army. This is helping out a lot, but still what can our newspapers do? We have some influence, I’m sure, of course we want like everything. That wouldn’t be a newspaper. If we rush our plants for Britain then we are helping ourselves in two ways:

(1) Our defense factories working at mass production.

(2) New armor and supplies for the Army and Navy.

In another way the British are fighting our battle, so we must help them.

Getting back to our main subject.

We can help the national defense in ways including being called for the draft. We must have the spirit of unity if we DO want to defend our country.

I saw a funny cartoon in one magazine a few months back. It had Hitler hanging and at the bottom – Why not now?

So as soon as we can get more aid to Britain it will become true.

In conclusion you must agree with all blue (not red) blooded America that aid must be rushed to the British and the A.A.P.A. must have no non-American newspapers in our bundles.

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Wichita Falls Gazette

Published every three months for the A.A.P.A. by:
Billy Hagemann
Petrolia Road
Wichita Falls, Texas


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