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Away With Mud-slinging
by Victor A. Moitoret

The reign of the house of Babcock ended with the 60th annual convention at Oakland. At that time, all of the delegates present forgave the ex-president for his misdeeds and mistakes made during his administration and the general attitude was one of friendliness. It was generally conceded that Babcock’s administration had had its good points and ‘the dictator’ retired, known to the majority as a friend and a likable fellow. In fact, the convention did all in its power to make him one of the executive judges.

Then – no sooner had President Bradofsky taken over the reins than Babcock reverts to his lowly mud-slinging. In an article in The Conventioneer and in a personal letter to Bradofsky he proved to a. j. beyond a doubt that experience had not been a good teacher. Not content with having ruined one year’s record in amateur journalism, he strove to attack and tear down the work of an amateur, who, if left alone and worked with, rather than against, will do much towards making the National a better organization.

Carry on, President Bradofsky, with the realization that we present day amateurs are not misled by the arguments and writings of one who seems determined to tear down rather than to build up the National Amateur Press Association.

Amateur Items

We agree with the thought expressed in the Grand Rapids edition of Babcock’ Red Rooster concerning the removal of Hanson from the secretary’s post by President Bradofsky. Altho we realize that our prexy had a perfect right to do as he saw fit, we believe that he should make known the reasons which prompted him in his actions.

In the Amateur Nevadan, edited by Rotholtz of Reno, and in the Home-Town News, published in Berkeley by Wetzel, the NAPA has two very promising papers. Both have appeared very regularly, increased their size, and both editors seem to have grasped the true spirit of a. j. Let’s see more like these.

New application blanks are enclosed with this mailing. Get a recruit. Let’s double the membership! We can do it!

Much impressed by the success of the Oakland convention, the local amateurs are already launching plans to make a strong campaign for the ’38 meet, at which time both of the bridges will be completed and the World’s Fair in full progress.

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Hair
by Victor A. Moitoret
Entered for N. A. P. A. Essay Laureateship

Have you ever stopped to really think about the subject of hair before, like I did the other day? What is it for? It serves no purpose as far as I could figure out except for ornamental use Now that industry can turn out fine woolen caps, the use of hair to keep the head warm is rather antiquated.

We all have, or once had, hair. It has to be cut, usually at least once a month. Besides this it must be washed. The time intervals separating this process vary according to the individual. Again. it must always, to be considered proper, be combed or brushed or otherwise made presentable.

The women of our species waste a lot more time on their hair than the men do. Hours and dollars are exhausted in curling, combing, parting, washing and all of the other useless processes indulged in.

Just let us go into the realm of supposition and imagine that no one had any of this plant-like growth flourishing on the top of their cerebral case. In other words, suppose that the human race was hairless. With all the leisure time thus provided, humanity would be able to better itself greatly by reading, writing, and otherwise furthering itself intellectually. Barbers, beauticians, manufacturers of hair restorers, dyes, dandruff cures, shampoos, greases. hairpins, bobby pins, combs, brushes, curling irons, and permanent wave machines, besides razors and other accessories that are now glutting the market, would all be thrown out of work and could spend their time doing something more useful. The ribbon industry would also suffer and, this possibility also would concern the makers of scissors. soaps, and all other products that are now in use to do something or other to our hair.

You may all say that without hair, we would not be beautiful. In fact, some of you may think that bald men are hideous, but beauty is not the first thing in life. Think of all the lice, cooties, and the like that would die of starvation, having no feeding ground, if we were devoid of hair. Men would no longer make great gashes and slashes in their faces while shaving, and the money saved on doctor bills would be enough to pay off the national debt.

We read every day of people who have their hair cause their death or dire injury. Hair often becomes entangled in machines and draws the victim to his death.

One drawback, however, in this aim, would be that the mosquitoes would be greatly benefited. This could be remedied by having everybody wear some kind of headgear, as they would probably want to do anyway, to cover up their baldness. This would prove such a boon to the hat industry that government hat shops could realize enough profits to make it possible to do away with all forms of taxation.

To sum all of this up, if my argument has the effect of making only two persons go down to the barber shop tomorrow and have all their hair pulled out by the roots, I shall feel that my efforts have not been in vain in this great campaign to rid the world of one of its most useless encumbrances.

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The Victorian

An amateur paper edited and printed irregularly by –
Victor A. Moitoret

Oakland, California

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