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A Cherub of Japan after Munakata’s style.
By Alric C. Tredwell, Our Special Staff Artist.
Hail to Spring!
SPRING! That season when all nature rejoices, especially our poets! When a young man’s fancy, etc. Older folks memories go back to an earlier, perhaps better, time. Grow-it-yourselfers pore over the seed racks. Ah, Spring! Even your editor gets into the act. He has a 7-ft. kite made to resemble a carp which, puffed out with the wind, flies handsomely through the air.
Letters to the Editor Department
Esteemed Neighbor of the North,
Although I much love and admire those of the United States of America of the North as we of the United States of Mexico describe you, there is one complaint I feel I must voice. I still hear the name of my natal city as Ti-a-juana. The extra letter grates on my ear and nerves. Please, in the interests of harmony and my nerves drop the extra letter and name our city Tijuana!
Ever your faithful servant,
Eladio Gomez B., Tijuana, B. C., Mexico.
Don’t Miss Household Hints in the next issue!
A Remarkable Circumstance
Two men were talking of fearful and wonderful things in a bar. Said Mr. Tall to Mr. Short, “Lemme tell you something wonderful. At birth I weighed only four pounds!”
“That is something remarkable,” replied his friend. “Did you live?”
“Sure,” said Mr. Tall, “You should see me now that I’ve grown up!”
A Divided Command
Two elderly men were partners in a sailing vessel which carried cargo along the New England coast. On alternate days they acted as captain and mate, each being equally capable.
On this date the mate, acting as lookout, came back to tell the captain they were getting all-fired close to the rocks in the channel. The captain-for-a-day told the mate to go forward and take care of his end of the ship. When the mate finished his walk forward he released the anchor and brought the vessel to an abrupt halt. It was then he said loudly, “There, you old fool! My end has stopped just short of these rocks I tried to tell you about!”
Don’t Eat That!
Tonight I’ll try it.
Tomorrow I’ll diet.
More Letters
Editor-in-charge of the Horoscope,
Sir, when I recover from this compound fracture of my left leg (and my reputation as a skillful skier) I’ll appear in the editorial office and chastise you for the impudent advice you offered for February 18th! I consider you, sir, a barefaced unmitigated scoundrel!!
Yours, in anger,
Melton A. DesChutes.
Editor’s Open Letter in Reply
Melton A. DesChutes,
Sir, your hot-headed, intemperate diatribe arrived today. Note – “The stars incline but do not compel.” I’ve just oiled up my Frontier model self-cocking, rapid fire, repeating baseball bat. I am keeping it beside me from now on. If you’d care to argue the case, come ahead!
– Omar Shaduf, the Horoscopist.
Colophon
Printed strictly for fun by Harlan and Nell G. Burbank at Oakland, CA 94602. Types used in general: Heading, Who knows; dateline and masthead, 12 and eight point Centenary; body type, 10 point Farmer’s O. S. and Binny italic.