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Millennium Madness

I hereby present my interpretation of the millennium controversy which has divided the country into two camps, those who claim the new Millennium starts on January 1, 2000, & those who claim it begins on January 1, 2001.

A. – How long is a Millennium? It is 1,000 years, therefore 1,000 years must pass before a Millennium is over and that will not occur until Dec. 31, 2000.

B. – When A.D. supplanted B.C., A.D. did not start with 0, it began with 1, thus the new Millennium will not begin until January 1, 2001.

C. – I believe this whole brouhaha was fueled by nightclubs & others to get the crowds into their establishments in order to fill their coffers twice by staging a Millennium bash twice.

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A couple of statements from two men who are more learned than I:

“There’s no dispute that the new Millennium actually begins in the year 2001,” acknowledges Edward McNally, Co-chairman of the Washington-based Millennium Society. “The dynamics of throwing a birthday party for Planet Earth a year early include the magic of seeing the number 1999 turning into 2000.”

“It is patently absurd, but probably nothing can stop the turn-of-the-century mania now,” says Richard Langford, former Stetson University professor. “Most of the world seems to have accepted this piece of chronological poppycock and intends to end the current century a year early.”

The professor goes on, “The attitude of a lot of folks seems to be ‘don’t bother me with the facts’, and try that ploy on a bank to which you owe $2,000; it will insist on receiving the entire $2,000, not $1,999.”

Speaking of computers (or not) I am still having trouble maintaining an even right margin. It must be because my program is a simple and cheap one. If it were not so simple I no doubt could not make it work as well as it does.

Just the other day my monitor blanked out on me. It’s one with a nine-pin connection which is rather obsolete. I tried maybe six different repair shops until I found one that had one of the type I needed. I took it home to try it out and the durn thing worked. I was surprised it did but was in for a greater surprise. When I called the repair shop to see what kind of deal I could make, the technician said he’d have to talk to his boss. When he came back on the line, he said, “Well, Clarence, it looks like you have just gotten yourself a free monitor. We are moving and you moved it for us. I have checked my monitor list and I had it down as one we would have had to get rid of. So, you are the lucky one!” How’s that for a surprise?

The clock’s ticking toward the start of the New Millenium which begins on January 1, 2001!!

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Colophon

Composed on an Arche Rival 286 Computer at The Claricent Press of Clarence & Millicent Prowell, Jacksonville, FL 32257-5490.

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