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A Declaration of Faith
(The following dissertation is offered, not to start an argument or debate, but simply, as the title states, it is a statement of my feelings or beliefs. This is prompted because some things I have said and written in the past have led some people, particularly several sons, to question my beliefs.)
Somehow I have acquired the reputation for being a Godless person. Perhaps it is deserved because I am somewhat outspoken on my views on religion and moral attitudes. Do I believe in God? Why not? Do I believe the Bible is the word of God? Why not? Why am I answering these two questions with a question? Why not?
Seriously. Why do I believe there is a God? Simply because I have had no other belief and didn’t feel the need to seek another. From the time I was old enough to comprehend I had it drilled into me that there was a God. I have never seen Him nor have I ever talked with Him. I have never read anything He has written. Why, then, do I believe in Him?
I don’t know who it was but a famous sage once said that if there was no God, man would have invented one. Perhaps that is the reason I believe in God, He is the entity I can blame for my misfortunes or thank for my blessings. There is one thing that bothers me and I would like you to think about it for a minute. How do we know someone didn’t invent Him?
Should I believe in God because my mother told me to? Well, she was a good teacher and much that she taught me has been proved true. There were a few times, however, when she erred. Was she erring in this case?
Now to the other question – Do I believe that the Bible is the word of God? The Bible may be the real word of God but it was written by man; translated by dozens of other men and interpreted by thousands of others. Did they embellish on God’s word in any way to perhaps, in their opinion, strengthen or weaken the Word as they saw fit? Who am I to question their motives?
Generally, I think the Bible is an excellent guide to how we should live. Should it be taken literally? I doubt it! First, it has not been updated. It is a 2,000 plus-year document that does not take modern science into consideration.
The second reason why I doubt if it should be taken literally is its ambiguousness. Fifty people can read its passages and give that many interpretations. Where it is specific, there can be little doubt as to its message, or can there? “Thou shalt not kill!” sounds quite specific and it is but – what shouldn’t we kill? If they mean other people perhaps they are right but what about the philosophy of “a tooth for a tooth…” which is also spelled out in the Bible. If they mean any persons, plants, or animals, and some societies do interpret it that way, then that certainly narrows the food supply down quite a bit, doesn’t it? Is that what they mean?
When a person tells me that he believes in the Bible and that if I don’t believe it the same way I am certainly heading for Hell and Damnation, that person is debasing the word of God. When a group of people tell me the same thing I can do no other than question everything they profess to stand for.
So often I have been told that a certain group only believes in the fundamentals of the Bible. Aha, what fundamentals? The whole book is quite fundamental and no part should be excepted. Yet, regardless of the denomination or group, they except certain parts for whatever their reasoning. Still, if I don’t believe exactly as they teach then I am the Godless one, even though the next group down the road will give me a contradictory spiel. Who is kidding who?
My son will not come to my house for Christmas, Thanksgiving, or the Fourth of July. Neither will he come to a birthday party. He will not accept a gift on one of those days because it might be tainted, yet he will accept a gift at any other time. He infers that those days are sacrilegious. He says they are not mentioned in the Bible. True, but neither are they prohibited. Why do people complicate things?
If he truly feels that way so be it, BUT DON’T BLAME IT ON THE BIBLE OR ON GOD!! That is an insult to my intelligence. If I was inviting him to a Black Mass, or some other form of devil worship, I could more readily understand his reluctance.
You can go down the line with them. Catholics will swear that all Protestants are headed for damnation. Protestants will infer that Catholics are children of the devil. Even within the ranks of the Protestants there is no relief. Some Methodists will infer that all Lutherans are a sorry lot and vice versa. To a Baptist the only true Christian is another Baptist. Theologians will even argue about which is the right day of the week to worship the Lord; which is the proper method of baptism, immersion or sprinkling; whether or not man should eat meat or be a vegetarian. Does all this matter?
Why can’t you be a Christian without wearing a label?
Any way you walk you will be wrong in someone’s eyes. Then people often wonder why so many other people have rejected religion or, at least only give lip service to it. Perhaps it is because they are confused about what it truly means and who represents what.
If I am a Godless one then what shall we call those who have warped and twisted the word of God to suit their own peculiar desires and beliefs?
Growls From the Grouch
I don’t suppose it ever occurred to you people that George Washington might have had one giant size hangup – I think he just hated cherries, period. OK, you obviously don’t believe me! So how many desserts can you name that are made of cherries and have his name on them? Besides that, we know what he did in his pa’s cherry orchard.
I used to smoke! I smoked for about 25 years before I finally gave it up. OK, that covers that subject but it leads us, by nose, right into the next one.
One of the fallacies of modern living is the ease with which one could open a pack of cigarettes. An adept person could even accomplish this with one hand and his teeth while driving down the road. In other words, the industry has made it as easy as possible for you to smoke. I think this is quite commendable of them, don’t you?
Now, I ask you, shouldn’t getting food be just as easy? Of course it should! It should require no real effort or great amount of skill to open a package of food. Would like to seem my list of foods which are packaged in such a way as to defy the greatest of minds to get at the edibles? Let’s start with something like a package of bakery rolls – and you can take from there.
Go ahead! Be a dirty, uncouth… never mind what… give someone Hell today!! On the other hand, why don’t you say something nice to them? It will drive them crazy! They’ll wonder what you’ve been up to!!
Do you enjoy hearing other people’s sob stories? Well, I do and I don’t – it all depends on how juicy the little morsel is. However, the day I was really touched, I had been slaving over a hot rake on the lawn and this friend stopped by to see what I was doing. During the course of the conversation we finally got around to discussing his problems. Boy, he sure had ‘em too! Things were so bad in his yard that his bark chips had termites. But, if you think that’s bad you haven’t heard anything yet – he even had plastic dandelions growing in his astro turf.
I have a son who has been reading about the French-Indians in Canada. It must have got him thinking about nationalities because he asked me if there were any Scottish-Indians. How do you tell the story of Sitting McBull and Angus R. Horse?
It appears that NAPA has some rather penurious members. It has been reported to me by a reputable source that they had been invited to an after hours party at the convention in Cleveland.
“Just press the doorbell with your elbow.” they were told.
“Why our elbow?”
“My goodness! You’re not coming empty handed, are you?”
My son, John, came in the other day with a smirk on his kisser and told the old man he had a joke for him. When I see that smirk I know I shouldn’t hang around but I always do. I guess curiosity gets the best of me but it always turns out to be some dumb joke. Sooner or later he’ll pull that and I’ll already have the answer.
Anyway, he asked me if I knew what kind of prize they gave to chickens that laid square eggs. This was new to me because I didn’t know they gave prizes for square eggs even although I knew what the chick said that laid one. However, John tells me it was a Pulitzer prize. Be careful now, that one has to sort of sneak up on you.
Oh, yes, the chicken’s words? OUCH!!
Hark! Did I hear someone say Kennewick? Yes, I did and I think the voices are correct. I think NAPA should come to the fair city of Kennewick in 1977, don’t you?
A news report the other day told of a guy who admitted paying disc jockeys to play his company’s records. What’s so new about that?
How many of you have really listened to this stuff? Take away the noise and there is nothing left. Yes, I have heard it!! Having raised eight kids I couldn’t escape from it.
Honestly, though, there is something ludicrous about a singer crying about being hungry when he doesn’t have any wrinkles in his stomach. Or how about a bad love affair when he isn’t even old enough to shave. Consider, too, the complaints about the establishment when they had to drop out of school because they couldn’t spell the word?
Reality is for the birds! I see that around me all the time! If someone is singing to me I want them to soothe me, not upset me.
No, sir! I’m afraid he would have to pay me to play his records also – if he had enough money.
Education is the ability to describe vividly a bathing beauty without using any hands.
In my yard are lots of pretty, little, yellow flowers. (No, honey, they ain’t no marigolds!) These eventually wind up with round, fuzzy heads: Did you know they are retractable? Oh, yes, indeedy! Just pass over them with a lawn mower and you’ll see ‘em at work as they suck in their little head, only to thrust it up again when you have passed. I have tried nearly everything to get rid of them except one thing.
I’ve heard a lot of chatter around about kindness and how you can kill a thing with kindness. Many wild plants are this way. So from now on I’m going to love them to death!!
Where Ya Been All Summer, Mayor
There are some of you who will notice immediately that the dateline on this Journal is May. So what? It was started in March. I won’t go into too much detail about this summer because I hope to catch up on most of it next month in the annual report for the X-mas issue. However, I can say it has been an exciting, interesting, often frustrating, sometimes futile experience and I’m glad I had the opportunity to serve.
You will also note in the Growls I made mention about the Cleveland derelicts. My informant tells me similar goings-on occurred at the Philadelphia soiree this summer. I had a bad connection and I couldn’t hear too well but I think two of the names bandied around were something like Fick and Segal. Does that ring a bell with anyone?
It is too bad that Kennewick didn’t get the nod for the 1977 convention because the Chamber of Commerce and I were really working up a good program. However, there is one consolation – the motel where I planned to hold it apparently won’t be ready in time for this next one so I’m going to put in my bid early for the 1978 Grande Programme. (that’s French?)
Now if I can just be assured of some way that I can still be mayor to greet you. You see, although a councilman’s term is for four years, the council elects a new mayor each two years. My time will be up in January, 1978. Well, I guess we’ll have to cross that bridge when we get to it.
Kennewick’s population increased 20 per cent last year (we are now at 21,300) and it looks as though we will do as well this year. All this growth, plus the fact we were without a city manager for four months, has caused us a lot of problems. We are running out of streets, water, sidewalks, sewers, and mostly money. We have a $30,000,000 bridge under construction between Kennewick and Pasco. Inflation has pushed costs up until we are about $3.5 million short. All contributions will be gratefully received.
Now, let’s clear the press and get ready for the Christmas issue.
… The Last Word
Our thoughts following the last election:
Cows may come; and cows may go;
But the bull goes on forever!!
This enthralling message is brought to you by the inspired type lice of the Garret Grouch, Jack M. Hageman, Kennewick, Washington 99336. The evil deed was done in the name of NAPA, its members, and our friends, both of them.