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Time
by Lee Llaitsma
Time… man cannot do without it.
Lose it, he would be in a fit!
Time… eats the marrow of man.
Tick… Tock – Time works the many feet.
Misquoted
We noticed in one of the foreign publications that they made a slight error in quoting from a recent article. They quoted us as saying, “If you read our paper you will obtain a college education.” What we said was, “If you read our paper you will be in a better position to take the kindergarten entrance examination.”
Minor mistakes, such as this, often slip in when translating to another language.
Resolution
Massachusetts Temperance Societies – 1820.
We, the undersigned, recognizing the evils of drunkenness and resolved to check its alarming increase, with consequent poverty, misery and crime among our people, hereby solemnly pledge ourselves that we will not get drunk more than four times a year, viz., 4th of July, Muster Day, Christmas Day, and Sheep-Shearing.
Writers
by Sheila Jensen
A doctor does not care to hear about his wife’s migraine or his son’s skinned knee. A lawyer resents being questioned about legal technicalities at a cocktail party. But a writer, unique creature that he is, lives and breathes words. When he talks which is often, his descriptions are the most vivid, his stories the most colorful and let’s face it, often his facts are embroidered with just a bit of imagination. If he is awake he’s reading. He reads cereal boxes, novels, dictionaries, and even other people’s mail if they will only share.
If he’s writing, as he frequently does, it’s not necessarily in complete silence but in front of the TV, in the middle of a conversation, and sometimes even a thought or two while grocery shopping. Most people who write, though they may pay the bills from other means, think of themselves as writers. They love reading other writers and they love reading about themselves. Curious, creative, word lovers, often with many idiosyncrasies, expressing themselves on paper for the world to love or scorn. Fame and wealth eludes the majority but nevertheless they leave their mark. The written word is remembered – those yesterday, today and tomorrow. Write on creative one!
Inquistive
by Betty B. Miller
I wonder what the angels think,
While gliding across the sky.
If when looking down on earth,
Is there a mournful sigh?
After seeing people dash about,
On the highways of our clime;
Like a bunch of busy actors,
In a crazy play of pantomime.
Don’t Say it Like it is!
by Laurence E. Estes
Fact is stranger than fiction but it is not always recounted with a real glow of the imagination. Dressing up words and phrases is the underlying occupation in the field of prose and poetry. It is not what you say, but how you say what you say that counts. The relating of dull events can be augmented with a dash now and then of the imagination.
A writer who is consecrated to his work can never be separated from his imaginative faculties. However, there is no justification for going overboard with exaggeration or sentimentality.
A good writer must be curious. He must be resourceful; he must be self critical, and enthusiastic. He also must be a literary craftsman. Vividness in his writing can only be obtained by painstaking labor. No matter how you look at it, writing is hard work. Granted inspiration has a lot to do with good work, but inspiration is only part of writing. Practice by the hour makes a good writer better.
The MIND is a SCHEME ENGINE
Old Method
The things you taught me
Are always on my mind.
For discipline you used
A switch on my behind.
How to Keep Warm
In 25 degree Fahrenheit weather, a man can lose half his body heat if his head is uncovered. U.S. Army researchers have found that, if the head, which houses the body’s “thermostat,” isn’t properly insulated, it draws on the body’s heat supply. So if you want to keep your feet warm, cover your head.
National Tobacco Spitting Contest
Once a year all the chewing tobacco experts gather five miles west of Raleigh, Mississippi and challenge each other for the spit championship of the world. The contest is held the fourth Saturday of each July.
An entertaining program is presented featuring the spitting contest, country music, political speaking, various other events. A small admission fee is charged and the proceeds used to support various community projects sponsored by the Raleigh Jaycees. There is free chewing tobacco.
The contestants spit on a 32 foot runway covered with white paper. Each contestant is granted three spits, the best of the three counting. The propulsion must originate from a spurting action. Hawking or blowing is not tolerated.
The record for distance is held by George Craft, with a shot of 24 feet 10½ inches in 1957.
According to the Jaycees, “We hope this spit puts Raleigh on the map. We want folks to know there is a Raleigh, Mississippi, ‘The Cuspidor Capital of the World’.”
THESE MODERN CATS HAVE NO RESPECT FOR TRADITION
It’s not the P’s and Q’s you need to watch – it’s those egotistical I’s.
Set & printed by Howard G. Radcliffe, Petersburg, Va. 23803