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Big Stories of the Sixties!

In 1963 Judges Heljeson and Dunlap fired by President Castleman (see related story elsewhere.)

Columbus, Ohio, convention in 1969, drew 118 members and guests.

Castleman declares himself a candidate for president in 1970 – for a third term?

Alf Babcock declines to run… he would rather walk or drive his Chevy.

In 1961, NAPA paid its last visit to President’s Field.

NAPA constitution printed in 1963, lost in 1968, rediscovered by Vic Moitoret in 1969.

Rusty Trust Fund took us out of the barrel and put us in a tuxedo… and IRS granted us non-profit status.

The Kelsey Co.’s assistance gained us about 80 new members in 1969.

Geographical center of NAPA moved from near Indianapolis to Danville, Illinois.

December, 1966 was a good month for the National Amateur. It caught Sam Smith in “a rare cooperative mood” after the Second Battle of Frederick. He wrote about a drawerful of women’s panties, noted that Roy Lindberg was alive (but did not say where), mentioned that SCW was still fighting for his rights from the Sierra Madre of amateur journalism (since when did Wesson stop) and while Sam’s tips of fingers fell only sullenly upon his electric typewriter, Kathy’s fryer was plugged in the same circuit and Sam blew a fuse. The only way to go! – et al.

Bring on the Girls: An Astute Analysis

The attempt of the British magazine, Penthouse, to cut into the Playboy market has not gone unnoticed by we amateur journalists and professional girl watchers. Penthouse claims that they present the real girls – that the pictures are not retouched. (Playboy presumably airbrushes out all small blemishes.)

The staff of the APC News, after due deliberation, has decided not to enter the bosom market at this time. There is no shortage of talent (unblemished) for a centerfold. There were simply no volunteers, once Hazel started some rumors about a staple in the navel… – LB

Despite the above, gatefolds will be sent on request.

False Notion Corner and Colophon

As we helped ourselves to the booze.
We printed the APC News
We’re sure you will find
This giant nip for mankind
Was powered by fine Bristol Brew. –SD

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Fanfares, Cockalorums and All That Stuff: APC’s Ticket, Tradition-Laden Guidepost!

New Year’s Eve APC meets must offer a slate, by the decree of hoary custom. Hence, through our ever so hoary beards and hoarsy voices we present the annual APC News Ticket, with a condition or two:

President: L. V. Heljeson, if Castleman runs.
Vice-President: Virginia Baker, if the NA goes broke.
Secretary-Treasurer: Bill Boys, if Biafra holds out.
Official Editor: Alan Wheeler, if parakeets are still pink.
Recorder: Robin Witter, if we can salt his tail.

Executive Judges:
J. Ed Newman, if he’s not re-elected president.
Kelly Janes, if there is a Kelly Janes.
Vic Moitoret, if Amendment 3 passes.
Vic Moitoret, if Amendment 3 fails.
Sheldon Wesson, if Vic Moitoret is elected.
Lee Hawes, if the AAPA folds.
Robert Dunlap, if he’s a stout fellow.
Larry Notman, if we give him the NA file.
Chuckwagon Charley Duerr, if there are no quakes.
John Gillick, if no one half quavers.
Pamela Wesson, if Helen allows her to join the NAPA.

Dingalings

Good wishes by phone from Rolfe Castleman, Al Lee, Marge Clelland, Tony Moitoret, Bill Murtland, George Trainer and –

Topics to Top the Severe Seventies

Each year, we reach Bristol on unsteady feet and with wavering eyesight. Each year, Harold serves us his own antidote for cholera mixed with the rejuvenating waters of the Delaware River. This elixir straightens our back hair, cures our fits and never turns our teeth black. Some say it is good for cleaning ovens too. (No, you dummy, the oven doesn’t drink it!) Upon the threshold of a new ‘70 decade, the proprietors of the Felonious Assault Press send you this motto: “Rejoice with Joyce!” (You remember Joyce, she’s the lady you used to do the Irene Castle glide with.) – L&PW

[Foreign Language Text] is what each visitor was told. Don’t ask for an absolutely accurate translation as too many liquor bottles were opened too many times. – AB

Production of this issue got sidetracked while Harold and Bill distributed type all over the map of the United States in an effort to decide where the NAPA geographical center in 1960 was. It turned out to be Indianapolis. Twas the biggest pi I ever saw. – AB

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Fall In, You Guys!

Those in attendance, but some did not set any type, included Ruth and Bill Boys, Verle Heljeson, Helen and Alf Babcock, Lillian and Parker Worley, Elaine and Les Boyer and children, Judi and Sam Davis, Roy Lindberg, John Larsen, and –

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